Saturday, May 3, 2014

The Sky's An Asshole

This Morning

The Sky:  Hey, I'm awake

Me:  So?

The Sky:  Get up

Me:  No

The Sky:  But I'm AWAKE

Me:  Go away

The Sky:  But it's a beautiful day

Me:  It's Saturday, asshole

The Sky:  But there's so much awesome stuff out here, like the grass, and the trees ...

Me:  Fuck you

The Sky:  ... and the clouds ...

Me:  Seriously, stop

The Sky:  ... and the land ...

Me:  I will kill you

The Sky:  ... and the birds are singing ...

Me:  I'll kill them, too

The Sky:  ... beautiful little chirpy songs ...

Me:  Don't think I won't

The Sky:  ... and smell that fresh country air ...

Me:  For real, you will die

The Sky:  ... and look at that! here comes the sun shining right into your window! a wonderful ray of sunshine right across your face! there's no way you can still be asleep now! this is gonna be a fantastic day!

Me:  You motherfucker

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