A while back, I wrote a post where I mentioned Mondays, and called them assholes. Repeatedly. And then I kind of started to feel bad about it, like I was regretting being too harsh, because Monday is just a day, right? I mean, just because it's Monday doesn't automatically make it an asshole, right? Wrong.
Let me tell you a story ...
Today's Monday. And it's an asshole.
I left my house this morning and got stuck behind The Jolly Green Giant's tractor of enormousness for like 4 miles. And then I got to work and realized that I forgot my favorite granola bar for my snack, and it made me sad. Because I look forward to my snack time at work, because snacks equal happiness. And then as I was walking from one building to another, I locked myself out of the office because I forgot the key. On the desk. Inside the office. So, while I was waiting to get un-locked out, I thought no big deal, I can just eat my granola bar while I wait because my stomach is about to murder me on account of the hunger. And then I remembered that I forgot my granola bar and it made me sad all over again. And then while I was taking my stuff out of my truck at another work site, I dropped my flash drive onto the pavement, and part of it cracked. And then some of the files wouldn't open. And I thought it was because I had dropped it, but it turns out that my flash drive is actually a bit of a slut when it comes to computers, and has landed herself an electronic STD. And now I'll probably have to go deal with the Geek Squad to get it fixed, and they're gonna be all, dude, you're flash drive is a whore. And I'm gonna be like, dude, I know. And she's probably not gonna change because it's her lifestyle, yo, so just fix it. And then I got all the way home and realized that I forgot to stop for gas on my way home from work, so the drive to the gas station tomorrow morning should be interesting. And by interesting, I mean that Fred Flintstone may need to make an appearance.
So, all in all, I stand by my statement that Mondays are assholes.
I. Regret. Nothing.