Friday, January 10, 2014

Because Self-Esteem Is Important, Yo

Ok. So check it out.  I'm a shitty-ass driver, right.  I mean, like, if there's something for me to run into, I probably will.  Just saying.  I once turned the wrong way onto a one-way street, because I didn't see the "one-way" sign, because I was concentrating on the value deal posted on the Carl's Jr marquee across the street.  I was in college, and I was fucking excited about the buy-one-get-one-free Famous Star special.  Priorities, yo. 
Note: It totally turned out ok, though, you guys.  I bailed into a nearby parking lot before the herd of on-coming traffic could trample me because my years of Mario-Kart experience totally trained me for that moment.

I also backed into the corner of a building once.  Literally.  The building had a notable scar to prove it.  And the bumper of my then-bad-ass truck had the tiniest dent.  It took it like a champ.  I don't really remember why that one happened, though.  I can assume it was also because my ADD was being an asshole, but I can't really say for sure. Maybe I hit that shit harder than I thought.  Anyway, I digress ...

So, a couple of days ago, I watched a woman try to back a Ford Focus into a giant parking space 5 times before she finally gave up and drove away.  And even though my driving record is far from perfect, because my ADD apparently doesn't recognize heavy machinery as something that I should be whole-heartedly attentive to, I can honestly say that as of this day, I've never once had to give up trying to park a Ford Focus in an acre-sized parking lot.  Confidence builders, people.  Grab 'em when you can.

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