Sunday, February 16, 2014

One With The Sea

A conversation between me and my mom:

Me:  I denied that friend request from Facebook

Mom:  how come?

Me:  because I feel like it's a trap

Mom:  what?

Me:  yeah, a trap to spy on shit that I say and post

Mom:  uh huh

Me:  and then they'll see how much I cuss and all of the awesome inappropriate crap that I post

Mom:  uh huh

Me:  and then they'll tell the mother and she'll try to save me with Jesus

Mom:  save you with Jesus?

Me:  yeah, and then I'll have to tell them that that ship didn't even get to sail; it got taken down by a fucking kraken

Mom:  taken down by a kraken ...

Me:  yeah, like forever ago

Mom:  uh huh

Me:  and then they'll be all, what's a kraken? and I'll be like, uh, hello. the kraken. the monster. from the depths of the sea.  and they'll be all, you got taken down by a sea monster?  and I'll be like, no, not me. my ship.  and then they'll be all, your ship?  and I'll be like, yeah, my ship of morality and fortitude, yo. and then they'll be all, well that's why we want to save you.  and then I'll have to be like, you are too late, fair do-gooders. I've become one with the sea.

Mom:  one with the sea ... 

Me:  one with the sea

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